Monday, May 15, 2006

This, that, and some deep thoughts....


So after the big fiasco with my agency (don't ask, I'm still a little bitter) is finally over, our documents (visa applications, travel documents, copies of acceptance letter, passports, etc) were finally mailed today and should arrive at Children's Bridge tomorrow. Now that that's over with, it's time to start looking over the list of the million and ten things left to do. I guess that's why there's such a wait to travel....so that you can get everything in order before going to China. I've traveled a lot over the past few years so one would think that I would be an old pro at packing and getting ready for a trip, but I've only ever had to worry about myself...(and sometimes the husband) but now, trying to pack for a trip to a country I've never been to and for a baby I've never met is going to have some challenges. I'm sure I'll drive my husband crazy over the next few weeks (if he was reading this, he'd say that was nothing new!!), but I'm feeling a little overwhelmed!

Mother's Day turned out to be a great day. I finally went out on the new boat and actually had a really good time. My MIL came out for the day and the weather couldn't have been any better for a ride out on the North Saskatchewan. My husband was truly in his element and it was nice to see him have a great time. I just kept picturing all the wonderful rides and picnics we'll have with Jenna when she comes home. And since it was Mother's Day, it had me thinking of Jenna's birthmother, who ultimately made the biggest sacrifice to give up her precious daughter in the hopes that a family could give her a better life. I can't imagine how difficult that decision was for her to make, but on the other hand, will be eternally grateful to a woman, who I know I will never meet, for giving us the greatest gift. If she only knew how much Jenna will be loved, I know that she would have peace in her heart and conviction in the decision that she made to leave Jenna in front of the orphanage that day. I thought of her yesterday and I will think of her every Mother's Day from now on. It will forever be a bittersweet day for me.

I've always believed in fate, and if, throughout my journey to become a mother, things would have been any different, I wouldn't have been able to experience this adoption journey to our Jenna, met the wonderful people (on-line and in real life), and had the time, through heartache and tears, to appreciate motherhood and all that it entails. I'm certainly not professing that I'll be great at it, but at least I've had the time to mature and gain a small sense of what motherhood and parenting is all about.

People say that she will be one lucky baby, but in truth, we are the lucky ones.

2 comments:

Bee's Blog said...

You are so right about so many things you wrote. I believe in fate and the red thread. We have all come together for a reason and I am sure one day we will all 'meet'.

We are all so lucky, mothers, fathers, daughters/sons to be able to become a family. No matter how it happens.

You are so lucky you know your travel dates. Things are done differently here, so we will know only 7-10 days before we leave. At least that time will go by fast.

If you are done packing, come down to Colorado and help me. Beth

Bee's Blog said...

I just wanted to let you know we are closer to our travel dates. We may be leaving May 28th.