Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Da Plane...Da Plane...
Our plane tickets arrived today and it's really starting to sink in that in less than a month from today, we will be on a plane to China to pick Jenna up. It's just really starting to dawn on me that life as I know it will never be the same. I will have this little child attached to me at all times, requiring every moment of my time and energy. My life will not be mine to do with what I want, when I want and how I want. My life will now belong to this little child forever. How's that for a reality check! Scary and exciting all at the same time. For those who know me, I live a pretty easy, carefree life, with not a lot of worries or stresses (other than the husband). I'm also sure that those who know me well may be laughing (under their breaths of course) at the fact that my carefree life will now include getting up early, changing poopy diapers (that will take a lot of work for me, cuz I'm not good with poop that's not mine) and tending to a child all day. I'll probably fumble at it for the first little while and I suppose having a good sense of ha-ha will pull me through those stressful times, but to be completely honest, I've been waiting for this for a very long time and I can't wait for the challenge.
I realize that raising a child is hard work and that it's not all about going to the park and playing patty-cake all day. I know and have heard, second hand, of all the not-so-wonderful sides of parenting that some people don't often speak about. I also realize that, with adoption, comes bonding and attachment issues, especially at the age Jenna is at, and that it could be really difficult in the beginning. I'm not expecting the clouds to part and angels to sing Halleluiah in the background once Jenna is placed into my arms. What I do expect, and have been mentally preparing for, is the fact that the husband and I will probably be the last people Jenna will want to be left with and she will cry, and she will grieve, maybe for a day, maybe longer. I know my heart will break into a million tiny pieces, but I also know that grieving is going to be part of her process that she needs to get through.
Mostly though, I realize how fulfilling parenting will be, for both of us, and how lucky we're going to be in the next month, when our little family will grow by one. We. Can't. Wait!!!
Posted by Our Journey to Jenna Maria at 2:12 PM